10 Lessons To Learn Before You Turn 20

Whether you're a teenager on the cusp of adulthood, a twenty-something year old in desperate need of advice or 30 plus and reminiscing, here are my top ten life lessons to learn before you hit your third decade!

Netflix makes it pretty clear that your teens are the most confusing, fast-paced and challenging years of your life. Going from being in primary school at the start of the decade, to being a somewhat-competent, bill-paying adult by the end, is enough to give anyone a headache.

1) Don’t Go To Uni To Find Your Husband, Go To Find Your Bridesmaids

Newsflash: most nineteen year old dudes aren’t looking to settle down! If you’re lucky enough to find one of the few that are, that’s great - but for most of us, it's better to let go of the idea of finding prince charming straight away. Instead, throw yourself into making great friendships and enjoying your first taste of freedom!

2) Don’t Expect To Be Treated The Way You Treat Other People

It sucks, I know - but not everyone will give back the same energy, care and attention that you give them. One of the best, and first, lessons life teaches you is how to know when to let go.

3) Be Your Own Best Friend

Seriously, if you can’t be your own cheerleader, how can you expect anyone else to! If you can be an ally to yourself, treat yourself as you would want a friend to treat you, and back yourself to the end - there’s no limit to what you can achieve. You have to spend your whole life with yourself after all!

4) Find Your Alcohol Tolerance - And Stick To It

One of the biggest learning curves of the teen experience is drinking, but as you approach the big two zero, blacking out suddenly doesn’t seem so appealing. Personally, my limit is around three drinks - that’s when I feel confident and chatty, without getting a headache the day after - but it took a lot (and I mean A LOT) of ropey nights out to discover this.

5) The Only Person You Have To Impress Is Yourself

No-one else lives your life day in and day out, so why the hell should they get to tell you how to do it? Your twenties are a time to be selfish, and your teens are the time to lay the groundwork for that. Ask yourself - if no-one else was watching, would you still be doing what you’re doing? If the answer isn’t yes, maybe it's time to rethink.

6) You’re The Boss

Alexa play There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back by Shawn Mendes. By the time you hit 20, you’re in the prime of your life. School is a distant memory, and with a taste of independence and financial freedom there is literally nothing stopping you from waking up tomorrow and being the person you want to be. Wanna be a fitness fanatic? Start running - like go outside and run! Wanna be a writer? Pick up a pen and write! Wanna go blonde? Do it! Wanna be a morning person? All you have to do is get up early! You’re in control.

7) You’re Ok On Your Own

Maybe you’ve just left for uni, or moved out on your own, you’ve started a new job or you’re going through a breakup. This may be the first time in your life you feel alone, but remember - just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It can be a jarring realisation to find that you’re suddenly out there on your own, but look at you doing it! Feel the fear and do it anyway - you’re perfectly capable.

8) Learn What Makes You Happy

Whether that's buying yourself flowers, going on a long walk, spending time with friends or curling up in bed with a book, take some time to truly learn what makes you happy. And then spend time doing that whenever you can.

9) Don't Compare

Leaving school and entering the real world poses lots of questions about what you're going to do with your life - as if you've got a clue! It's absolutely ok if your friends seem like they know what they're doing and you just feel confused. It's rare to look like you have your shit together. It's even rarer to ACTUALLY have your shit together. Instead of comparing yourself to those around you, try to focus on yourself and your goals. It's fine to look at someone's life and wish you had that for yourself, but try to be inspired by them, rather than jealous of them. And be mindful that not everything is as it seems - especially on social media. At the end of the day, your only competition is yourself.

10) You're Gonna Be Fine

Trust the process, trust your path, trust yourself. There's a lot of pressure about your teens and twenties being the best years of your life - I think this does more harm than good. Best years or not, these are trying times, rife with change, heartache and fear. They are also full of opportunities for happiness, freedom and growth - so take them! Nothing stays the same for long. Most of all, try not to panic. You're gonna be fine.